The Elite Eight

So, I am happy to learn that a few people enjoy reading my weekly posts on American Idol, so back by popular demand, I am continuing to write my review of the performances. Tonight was Idol Gives Back Night and just like every multi-million dollar enterprise that is forced by conscience and a chance for really good PR to "give back" they spent a good portion of the night congratulating themselves on a job well done. I thought there were a few performances worthy of note and others I could stand to live without.

#1: Michael Johns: He did an alright job with his song and he is definitely someone I like to watch, but I wasn't blown away by his performance. I think he deserves to be around another week.

#2: Syesha Mercado: Does the vocal coach hate her, or is she really that self-confident? Week after week she chooses huge songs that have been done by big-voiced performers and then is shocked when the judges compare her amateur version to the professional. I was never really enamored by Fantasia mostly because she cannot construct an intelligible sentence if her life depended on it, but I did think she was talented. Even though she hasn't translated well to a broad audience, she has found some success with her book and subsequent made-for-TV movie Life is Not a Fairy Tale which warns African-American young women of the hardships of poverty, lack of education and teenage pregnancy (because that topic has never been covered before). In any case, if you are going to cover a song that has made someone famous, you better "saaang it" as Randy says. I look at her with her Afro-tastic hair and keep waiting for Jennifer Hudson or Melinda Doolittle's voice to come out but instead it is a restrained, covered kitten sound when she means to be a tigress. She also provided us with the first Mariah Carey moment of season 7 with the up-in-the-rafters falsetto near the end of the song. Way to make it your own and call dogs from three blocks away. I really don't care for her attitude when the judges criticize her performance. Clearly she thought she did better. I wouldn't mind seeing her go so I wouldn't need to see that audacious self regard again.

#3: Jason Castro: How I love you so. Even though Mike and I both hate the song he did (we both think it is "the" slideshow song) he did it up well. I really appreciate how committed he is to his hippie persona (dreds, skinny jeans, awkwardly low cut v-neck shirts with vintagey looking cardigans). He really gets what his strength is and I love that he seem genuinely happy to perform each week. As a side note, each time he smiles he reminds me of Mike's cousin Sarah and so it is another pleasant memory to see him each week. I hope he makes it through.

#4: Kristy Lee Cook: I have not been shy in expressing my dislike for Kristy this entire season and tonight was no different. Once again, she partied like it was 1999. Every time I see her a flood of high school memories comes back and I wonder how she has stayed in her time capsule for so long. Glittery gold tank and bootcut white jeans with a glittery gold belt. It reminds me of some one you would see entering Inferno night club on a Thursday night. Her singing was "pitchy" although the judges didn't seem too bothered by it. Each week when she sings I find myself raising my eyebrows and tilting my head forward hoping it will somehow help her to slide up to the right note.

#5: David Cook: Even though I don't like Kristy, David's song choice for tonight was way off. I am not the biggest fan of Our Lady Peace (again reminds me of high school and not in the good way) and I couldn't understand a majority of the lyrics of his song. The whole thing just sounded muddled and growly. I have to agree with Simon that the Sgt. Pepper white peacoat was a bad wardrobe choice. And I have to disagree with Paula that the "give back" written on his sweaty palm with a ball point pen was deep important message to get out. The show is called Idol Gives Back. We get it.

#6: Carly Smithson: I have to think the vocal coach on the show hates her too. The theme for the night was inspirational music not angry/sad reflections on a world gone wrong. Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love Queen. They are one of my favorite groups and I think Freddie Mercury was one of the most brilliant rock vocalists of all time. But if you are going to pick a Queen song, a. Make sure it fits with the theme of the show and b. "Saaang" it well. The way Carly sang it made it sound angry and shouty. She is also on my could-go-home list.

#7: Sweet Sweet David Archuleta: Even as reports surface of his overbearing stage dad David continues to impress with his earnest delivery of well chosen pop standards. Who cares if his Dad-ager yells at him and shames him in front of the other contestants? The proof is in the pudding. Look how well the Simpson girls have done with Daddy Joe at the helm. Parents know how to manipulate in a way that others can't. Whatever his "home" situation, David is sailing through to the next round.

#8: Brooke "the nanny" White: Speaking of time machines, I'd like to see where Brooke found her look for the night. Completely authentic female singer-songwriter garb from the 70s with her brown daisy print dress and her long wavy fanned back hair. Not surprisingly she sang Carole King's You Got a Friend. She didn't really do anything original with the song and did not wow me with her performance skills. She seems like someone who is desperately awaiting the return of Lilith Fair when her music will once again be appreciated. I just wish she would be more creative and imaginative in preparing to sing classic songs we all know. Right now she sounds like coffee house karaoke and I don't think that will win her the competition.

Last year on Idol Gives Back night, they didn't vote anyone off but voted two people off the following week with the combined scores of both performance nights. I wonder if they will do that again this year, or if they will ax someone tomorrow on the star-studded, ad-filled "results" show. Each week it seems less and less about the contestants and results and more and more about product placement and performance opportunities for professionals. I am sure tomorrow will be no different.

La Cucaracha

On my lunch break today I went to Old Navy because I was told there was really good baby clearance there. While I was there I came across this little "Newsie" hat (the last one). It reminded me of my Papa who frequently wears this type of hat in the summer. When I got home Shelby and I excitedly changed Carter into this ultra preppy look complete with the little hat. By the time we were done dressing him he no longer was in a smiley mood but we were still determined to get some cute pictures of him (they are posted on our Flickr page). Shelby got desperate and started singing "La Cucaracha" to him to make him smile. He didn't get ecstatic, but did manage to smile a bit for our queer little video. Hope you like...

Dominique Moceanu I am not

It is not breaking news to anyone that I am not athletic. That being said, I still thought I had some basic tumbling abilities since I was a relatively active kid. My friend Katie used to humor me when we were kids by listening to my dreams of athletic prowess. I always wanted to be a figure skater or a gymnast. We used to go to her sister Kelley's meets and watch her excel at this sport. Looking back on it now, it is so comical to imagine my tubby, uncoordinated self watching Kelley and thinking I could do that someday. Luckily I was raised by parents who didn't pull any punches and told me that was something I would never be good at. I guess I didn't realize that at 27 I still didn't believe them.

When Molly, Shelbs and Elza came over tonight and explained to me that Molly and Shelbs couldn't do a somersault I laughed at them. "Even I can do a somersault!" I said confidently. I truly, passionately believed that I could do a somersault. I mean, can't everyone? When asked to demonstrate my abilities I was weighed in the balance and found wanting. It felt so weird to even attempt it. My first couple of tries were weak at best and Mike voiced his disappointment with me. So I made him do one which he did pretty easily. Well then I was determined to be able to do it. Anything he can do, I can do better, right? After two more REALLY embarrassing attempts I finally was able to do a somersault! With my new found skill I quickly turned to my more comfortable role as a Bela Karolyi-like mentor and began "spotting" Molly and Shelby. They now believed if I could do it, anyone could. Molly captured these delightful memories on video, but thankfully has not posted them. Looking in to my crystal ball I don't see Olympic gold in my future, but I should be able to teach Carter how to somersault when he is old enough. He's already rolling so that's a start.

"You just keep me hanging on..."

Why, oh why are Kristy Lee Cook and Ramiele Malubay still on Idol? Has America gone deaf? I predicted Kristy wouldn't go home since she was practically waving a flag and auditioning for the next Toby Keith video. There is, unfortunately, a large segment of America that eats that stuff up. However, who is voting for Ramiele? She wasn't even in the bottom three!!! I wasn't too sad to see Chikezie go because I have never been his biggest fan, but he didn't do that bad of a job last night. He certainly did better than Ramiele. Oh well, Kristy and Ramiele have hung on for another week...and next week is Dolly Parton week. This should be interesting.

American Idol...A Perfect 10?

So as I mentioned in my AI post two weeks ago I am sick and tired of the judges telling me that this year is the best top ten ever. From what I saw tonight, I have to disagree. Tonight's theme was "Songs from the year you were born". Each year this episode brings out a wild card element, but I think it still gives them a ton of freedom in making song selections. Here are my thoughts from tonight's episode:

#1: Ramiele Malubay - First of all she is certainly not #1 in my book, at least not for singing. Her "performance" of Heart's "Alone" was flat, shrieky and painful to watch. Also, her eighties "tribute" outfit left much to be desired. Of all the eighties trends to rock, high-wasted baggy trousers and an off-the-shoulder diagonal stripe shirt is the best you could do? It looked like an outfit from a Newport cigarette ad circa 1989.

#2: Jason Castro - His song choice of Sting's "Fragile" was a good choice for his style. I don't know why the judges don't quite get who he is yet. He reminds me of a Jack Johnson mixed with Lenny Kravitz. Let him do his thing. Although I don't think this was his best week, it was loads better than "Michelle" last week. He is who he is and I like that he does his own understated thing. I don't think he'll win it, but if all else fails he can move to Durham, NH and play at the MUB.

#3: Syesha Mercado - Shelby has never liked her and although she doesn't annoy me as much as she does Shelby, she is not my favorite. In her videos she seems like someone who knows exactly how "cute" she is and tries to play up all of her "endearing" qualities. I know she is in her mid-twenties, but everytime I see her I picture her as a little kid in a Welch's grape juice commercial. My Memere always hated Welch's kids, and I am afraid I now do as well. Her performance of "If I Was Your Woman" definitely wasn't bad and I think she deserves to be in another week. Sorry Shelbs!

#4: Chikezie - Finding out this week that his parents are from Nigeria actually made me less annoyed that his name is Chikezie Eze. Being in Utah for 2 years now I am just used to made up names (ie. Kenessa) and I assumed this was one of them. While Chikezie's performance was old-fashioned, it wasn't painful, and for that alone he deserves another shot. He is another one that falls into the "Welch's" category for me, so I don't know that I will ever love him, but I could like him for another week.

#5: Michael Johns - Finally someone that doesn't make me feel old! He was born in 1979, so he is a solid 3 years older than I am. I thought it was pretty gutsy for him to think he could pull off Queen. Freddy Mercury is usually regarded as one of the top rock tenors of all time, so if it were me I wouldn't want to give people a chance to compare the performances. He was pitchy and doesn't do well in his higher register, but he is so darn charming, I hope he makes it through for another week.

#6: Carly Smithson - "Total Eclipse of the Heart" -- if I never had to hear that song again it would be too soon. Whenever I hear it I think of sweaty, awkward boys asking me to dance at church dances and it makes me feel embarrassed for both of us all over again. She is a also a hard person to watch sing. She has weird Boris and Natasha eyebrows that make her look angry when she sings.

#7: Brooke White - I laughed out loud when she re-started her song after singing a wrong first note. She handled it well, but I don't know why the judges kept praising her for her "professionalism". She was once again trying to be very dramatic with her delivery of "Every Breath You Take" and I don't like her turning the show into Lilith Fair each week for her performance. All in all it was not the worst performance of the night, so she should stay around. Speak of the devil, that brings us to...

#8: Kristy Lee Cook - Where to start? She is playing her cards right to sing a patriotic song ("God Bless the USA") complete with cymbal flourishes and a brass section that came in at the end. Who can vote off the girl who loves her country? I don't know if the judges went momentarily deaf, but her "money notes" were flat. With all the talk they keep saying about being relevant and modern I am surprised they like her. She is dated, and not in an old school, throw-back kinda way, but in a late 90s, small town, country type of way. Even though this wasn't her worst song, I hope she gets voted off.

#9: David Archuleta - Sweet, sweet, David. Normally David can do no wrong for me, but tonight's performance seemed too Mickey Mouse Club/Kids Incorporated. He still has a great voice and deserves to be in the competition and I am glad he tried to pick a more upbeat song, but at least choose a song other people know. And perform less in the Up With People style.

#10: David Cook - I didn't feel his cover of a cover was as inspired as the judges, but it wasn't terrible. Once again, I think he takes it too seriously. "Billie Jean" is not a serious, thought-provoking song. Quit singing it like it is Shakespeare.

Well that is it. I am not exactly sure if I got the order right, but that doesn't matter as much. For those who can't watch Idol with me, those are my thoughts on tonight's show.

I Love Jimmy's Love Bug!!!

I dropped off the Audi today to get the brakes looked at Jimmy's Love Bug here in Provo. Steve, the guy who unlocked the shop to take the car in this morning, was very nice and didn't make me feel stupid. Most times when I bring the car in to a mechanic I get eye rolls and mocking from the staff. But Steve was very nice and he assured me he would find out what was wrong. After walking to work from their shop I hoped that the repair would not be too pricey or extensive. He called me at 11:25 a.m. to report that I needed new front and rear brakes and that a spring from the back had fallen into the rotor. I braced for the bad news. Then he said that with parts and labor, the bill would come to $225 and I could pick it up at 12:30 p.m.!!! After getting off the phone with Steve, the girl that sits on the other side of my cube at work made fun of me that I had said, "Really?" and "Great!!" like 15 times. I just couldn't believe what a change this was from dealing with the Ken Garff Audi dealership. They quoted me $1,200 and couldn't get me in for a week. Jimmy's took me in the day after I called and finished my vehicle in just a few hours. Also, when they saw me walking back to their shop, they got my keys and invoice ready and met me at the door. I was very impressed with their service and with the politeness of their staff. Steve must have told me five times, "Thank you for your business", "Thanks for coming in" and their office smelled and looked like my dad's glass shop back home, so it was a pleasant memory. I would definitely take our car back to Jimmy's any time and would recommend them to any other VW/Audi owners. Thanks John for the great tip!! You saved us a ton of money and hassle.

Tips for appearing on American Idol

Maybe I am overly cynical, but this year the Idol competition seems too neat and planned. The contestants look a little too "United Colors of Beneton" for me and sometimes their intro videos and post-song comments seem a bit rehearsed. So here for you are tips I've noticed the Idols have been using to their greatest advantage.

Tip #1: Make sure you look like a video game avatar. Jason Castro and Amanda Overmeyer are guiltiest on this count, but they keep making it through, so it must be working. Every time I see them all lined up, it looks the character selection screen on Karaoke Revolution.

Mike: "You got to be the skinny guy with dreds last time...it's my turn!"
Me: "Ok, but I get to be the biker chic with skunk hair"

Tip #2: Close your eyes when you sing a non-important song to make yourself seem deep and relevant. David Cook and Brooke White are this tip's culprits. David sang "Hello...it is me you're looking for" almost entirely with his eyes closed. Yes, Lionel Richie pop tunes can be very poignant. Brooke did this for "Love is a Battlefield". Who doesn't close their eyes to ponder the wisdom of "...we are young. Heartache to heartache we stand" Spoken with the depth of a 7th grade poetry assignment.

Tip #3: Mention something indisputably sad to garner sympathy and support from viewers. Now this may seem like a bad tip especially for Asia'h Eperson who mentioned several times that her father passed away days before her Idol audition and what a strong soul she was for pursuing her dream in the midst of tragedy. True, but she still got voted off before the final 12. With that exception, David Archuleta has used this tip when he received criticism for singing Phil Collins' "Another Day in Paradise" by mentioning this song brings attention to those who don't have anything. Can't really fight with that...and he made it through to the next round. Michael Johns used this tip tonight when he received pans for this performance of "A Day in the Life" (one of the worst song choices of the season...a close second behind Kristy Lee Cook's "Eight Days a Week"). He brought up the fact that he chose the song for his best friend who died last year. It will be interesting to see if that saves him. Carly Smithson also tried this technique tonight when she explained to Simon her song choice of "Blackbird" saying that she felt like she had broken wings and now she is free and flying. This was a painfully awkward moment to watch. Trying to explain feelings to Simon is like trying to explain to Paula why she doesn't need to tell the contestants she feels their color...it just won't work. In any case, we'll see if America wants to see her "fly" for another week.

Tip #4: Wear as many trends in one outfit as you can. Ramiele Malubay is guilty of this each and every week usually wearing a corset, leggings, ankle booties and her hair styled in a ridiculous swoop. She looks like young Paula Abdul. Maybe that's why she keeps getting voted through...It is certainly not because of vocal chops or fantastic song selection.

Tip #5: Cry for every loss on the results show. This tip has worked for everyone except Danny Noriega (thankfully). Each results show you can count on Ramiele and Brooke turning on the water works. The directors of the show must employ a separate camera man to capture these "endearing" moments on film.

I am sure I will notice more Idol trends as the season goes on, but that is what I have observed so far. Stay tuned tomorrow to see who gets voted off!!